Thursday, December 04, 2008

2008 Christmas List

As 2008 draws to a close, I have started to think about what I would like to get for people for Christmas. (Actually, Mrs. Snowed does most of this, which is a good thing, seeing as I'm only just starting to think about it.)

This year, I want to give the following:
  • For the Austin American-Statesman (heretofore known on this blog as the "unwanted daily"): relevance
  • For the Austin Chronicle (heretofore known on this blog as the "worthless weekly"): objectivity (perhaps you can also share it with a few other organizations)
  • For Barack Obama: best wishes and a hope that he will govern from the center, and a promise from me not to contract Obama Derangement Syndrome
  • For Bob FM: an expanded library
  • For Bush Derangement Syndrome/Palin Derangement Syndrome sufferers: a life! (That especially means you, Andrew Sullivan. No, I'm not giving you a link.)
  • For Capital Metro: some knowledge regarding just how far south Austin really extends
  • For the Dallas Cowboys: a playoff win already! I'll take one in early 2009. I'd prefer four.
  • For everyone currently "underwater" with their mortgages: Financial Peace University
  • For GM: Chapter 11 bankruptcy and an accelerated schedule for the 2010 Chevy Volt
  • For Ignite Consulting: just go away!
  • For Jammin' 105.9: flip the format already and put it out of our misery!
  • For Jennifer Kim: decency in campaigning
  • For KVUE: an end to those annoying "we've won the Edward R. Murrow award for overall excellence x years in a row" spots, which always make me laugh when they air right after some technical (or other) difficulty (and it happens way too often)
  • For KXAN/LIN TV: lousy ratings (Granted, NBC's helping to grant this one for me.)
  • For MSNBC, particularly Keith Olbermann and Chris "Snugglebuggle Kissyface" Matthews: Valium
  • For Sarah Palin: better handlers, better interviews, and a Reagan-like rebound paralleling his rise from the 1976 ashes
  • For the staffers who slammed Sarah Palin: obscurity
  • For Time Warner Cable: a little respect for your customers, maybe?
  • For the United Auto Workers: an immediate and permanent end to the Jobs Bank, some severely restructured contracts, and a dose of humility
Unfortunately, I cannot personally deliver on most of my list this year, so I hope that this will prove an adequate gift for now.

Have a Merry Christmas season. Love you lots!